3 Ways to Have Better Table Talk this Thanksgiving

An extended family meal. We are sitting there, eating our turkey (we have multiple Thanksgivings
to get in, so had to do one early). Suddenly, someone brings up the election. I know they voted differently than me. Everyone stops eating. Polite chatter ceases. An awkward silence ensues. It continues  until someone makes a random comment about something else. The sigh of relief you hear is the collective exhale around the table that we are moving on to something else.

This scene will unfold around many tables this Thanksgiving. This election has stirred an unrest and a division in us that we have not experienced in some time. All of us are convinced we are right. In past elections, we were passionate about our candidates, but weren’t convinced the other one(s) were so awful. Not this time. We didn’t think the folks who supported the other candidate(s) were so awful. In many cases, not this time.

Now, we sit down to eat and to give thanks together.  Your uncle who is passing the green beans; thrilled that Obamacare will be gutted. Couldn’t happen soon enough. Your aunt passing the cranberry sauce; worried that her dear friends may have their marriage nullified if same-sex marriage is reversed. The pain and concern folks have is real. What is one to do? You know when folks rather talk about religion, something must be up. 

Here are three ways to have better table talk this Thanksgiving.

Don’t pontificate around the dinner table News flash: No one is really that interested in the article you read on the internet that you keep wanting to talk about.  Those gathered around the table love you for who you are, not because you think you are the smartest person in the room. There is a time and place for healthy, informed debate, but the Thanksgiving table is not the place. No one wants a slice of your opinions with their turkey.

Listen more than you talk Jesus shared many meals with folks whom no one else would eat. Tax collectors, sinners, you know the drill. I wonder if he did more talking or more listening? I would guess more listening. He understood that personal and social transformation begins where we are. We don’t know where people are at unless we listen. Listen to what is going on in others’ lives. Their challenges, their joys. Even close family members don’t overtly share everything with one another. Take a listen and you might be surprised by what you hear.

Find common ground Find something, whether silly or serious, that you can talk about. Maybe everyone agrees that your sister-in-law makes terrible mashed potatoes and everyone knows it but her. Hey, it’s a start. God has created life in a way that we have a shared dependence on one another. Whether we recognize it or not, we need one another. This is a gift, not a curse. Find something to discuss that is life-giving and a shared interest. Even if its a mutal dislike of the Dallas Cowboys.

Perhaps our dinner tables can be a source of healing this year. I mean, stranger things have happened. Save the neck for me Clark! Happy Thanksgiving.

Election Thoughts for Sandy Springs Christian Church

I typically use this medium to write to an auidience wider than the congregation that I serve. Today I wanted to share my pastoral thoughts that I shared with my congregation in this space
Dear Church,
One of the great acts of our democracy is electing the President of the United States. In a divisive election season, the thrill of victory is heightened and the sting of defeat is magnified. Some desired this outcome, while others did not. That’s the problem with elections, they create winners and losers. Now, we move forward. In the church, we speak often of the Body of Christ. In a day and age where unity seems nearly impossible, we recall Jesus’ prayer that all of his followers might be one. To be one is not to convert others to our way of thinking; rather it is to acknowledge our shared humanity and shared dependence upon God. This prayer calls on followers of Christ and the church to protect those who are marginalized and those without privilege.   I believe that Jesus offers God’s redeeming grace and love to all and I believe in the Good News of God’s reign and realm.
One of the things this election cycle has shown us is that we need new models of community. We need a new way of being together. Instead of seeking to listen and hearing all voices, we have only been shouting louder. There are people on all places in the political spectrum who feel as though their voice has not been heard. True unity and true community seeks to find the fullness of life for all.
 One of the things I cherish about SSCC and about the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) is that we are people of the table. We hold firm that there is room for all. No matter who received your vote on Tuesday, a place is set for you on Sunday. In a day and age of deep division rooted in fear, what a life-giving belief.
My hope and prayer is that the church models a new, better way of being in community with one another. What if we led the way in how to be in relationship with one another, especially among those who have different points of view? For too long, we have modeled our life together after other institutions and communities. It’s time we look to the life and ministry of Jesus for a new model…. After all, it’s not a President in whom we claim our faith, rather it is in the God of love in which “we move, live and have our being.” I look forward to gathering around God’s great table with you this Sunday.
Grace and peace to you,
Rev. Danny Gulden
Senior Minister

Dear Future President: A Letter

Dear Future President,

The big day is almost here. You will be elected to the highest office in the land by the American people. Regardless of what people might say, you will be elected to serve all the American people. That’s a tough job because we can be pretty difficult. Are you sure you are ready for this?

There are several things that I hope will happen over the course of the next four years as your policies and actions shape our shared future.

I hope people will pray for you. Whether they voted for you or not, I hope people will pray for you. Imagine the power of people from many faiths praying for you and your work. Know that there are people across the nation praying for you. May you feel these prayers.

I hope you will be welcoming. Our nation continues to grow more diverse. This is a good thing as a rich tapestry of cultures and traditions comes together as one. You should see this as a strength, not a weakness. This is something for which we should be proud, not ashamed. Continue to welcome those in our land who are seeking our cherished freedoms.

I hope you will embrace all people. Too much of the language of this campaign season has been divisive and “othering.” When considering policies, take into account the effect they will have on everyone. Don’t be afraid to take on the systemic issues that we need to face.   May you foster an environment in our nation where all people are celebrated. Not tolerated. Celebrated.

I hope you will promote peace. I get it, foreign policy is difficult and we are threatened on several fronts. You receive information daily that most Americans could never fathom receiving. Very few of us would want to be in your shoes. However, as you are able, help us lead the way in promoting peace in the world. I believe we can support those serving our country  while working together for peace.

I hope you will work for the economic good of all. In a nation with our resources, we should not have the poverty levels that we do. I realize the government is not the only institution that bears the responsibility for caring for our people, but please advocate for policies that lift people and benefit the widest range of people possible.

I hope you will be a responsible steward of the earth. We can do better when it comes to addressing climate change. Let’s talk about climate change while looking at our own lives to see where we can be better stewards of the earth, so that we may leave a better future for our children and grandchildren, etc.

I hope you will respect those who disagree with you. I know this is a tough one. It’s hard to, especially when you are the one who has to “turn the other cheek.” One of the ways in which we can turn around the way we talk to one another is if you set a good example.

So there you go. Just a few hopes that I have for your time in office. May Gods grace and peace be with you as you begin this journey.

 

3 Reasons the Cubs World Series Win is Good for the Church

Cubs Win! Cubs Win! Cubs Win!cubs

The curse is over!  The Cubs are World Series champions. The Cubs win is good for generations of Cubs fans, good for the game of baseball, and good for the city of Chicago. It’s also good for the church. How is that?

Reason #1

In the midst of a divisive and never-ending election season, the World Series has provided a nice  distraction for the country. People watched baseball in numbers not seen in forever  so they may be a part of the water cooler discussion at the office. At church this past Sunday, I walked by several groups of people talking about the World Series. I had assumed most of these folks didn’t even know what a baseball looked like. Once again, we have found common ground in America’s pastime. Too bad it wasn’t an 11 game series that would have carried us through next Tuesday.

Reason #2

It has given us pause to remember the saints who have gone before. Cubs lore is filled with heroes such as Ernie Banks, Ron Santo, and of course Harry Carey. There is the story of the North Caroline man who listened to Game 7 on the radio while at his father’s gravesite. This win bonds generations of fans both seen and unseen. It is celebrated in the “great cloud of witnesses” and gives us the chance to remember those who have shaped us and passed down their passions to us.

Reason #3

All things are possible. We hear of the church’s declining numbers and influence. We experience frustration in our lack of effecting meaningful change in ushering in God’s vision for the world. A World Series win after 108 years of frustration gives the church hope. it brings alive Paul’s words to the church at Rome, We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God’s grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise. Hope, even when it seems like eternal hope, does not disappoint. The church can go ahead and dream big dreams and its people can answer bold calls. All things are possible.

Cubs Win! Cubs Win! Cubs Win!